It had been a week.

A weem since Akanksha had sat in front of Yogesh and listened to everything he had been carrying inside him.

A week since she had walked away from that room with more questions than answers.

And somehow, this week days had felt longer than the past few months.

She had tried to keep herself busy.She talked to people, went out, laughed when someone said something funny, replied to messages, and behaved as if everything was normal.

But whenever she was alone, her mind returned to the same place.

To him.

To that conversation.

To his face.

To the regret in his voice.

And, most of all, to the fact that despite everything he had done, she still couldn't bring herself to hate him.

Her mind had been very clear.

Don't forgive him.

He hurt you.

He made you go through something you never deserved.

You don't owe him another chance.

But her heart didn't seem to understand any of it.

Every time she tried to convince herself that she was done with him, another thought quietly appeared.

Is he okay?

Is he eating properly?

Is he still shutting himself away?

Does he regret everything he said?

She hated that she still cared.

She hated that his pain could still affect her.

And perhaps what scared her the most was knowing that forgiving him wouldn't magically make everything normal.Even if she forgave him, the past wouldn't disappear.

The hurt wouldn't disappear.

The fear of being abandoned again wouldn't disappear.

Trust wouldn't suddenly return.

Things between them couldn't simply go back to how they were.

She knew that.

And maybe that was exactly why she was so confused.

After coming back, she had spoken to her Jaipur friends.She had expected them to tell her not to forgive Yogesh. Maybe even tell her that he didn't deserve another chance.

But they hadn't.

They had simply listened.

One of them had asked her quietly,

"Tu kya chahti hai, Akku?"

Akanksha had remained silent.

"I don't know."

"Bas wahi toh," Disha had said gently. "Decision hum tere liye kaise le sakte hain?"

Manav had nodded.

"Humne jo suna hai... tujse, usme hume nahi laga ki woh acting kar raha tha. But that doesn't mean you have to forgive him."

Akanksha had looked at them helplessly.

"Then what am I supposed to do?"

"Jo tera dil aur dimaag dono milke decide karein," Akshita had said. "Aur agar dono abhi agree nahi kar rahe, toh time le."

They hadn't defended Yogesh.

They hadn't blamed him either.

They had simply reminded her that this was her decision.

Disha had said that..

"Bas ek cheez yaad rakhna. Jo bhi decision lena, apne liye lena. Kisi aur ke pressure mein nahi."

Akanksha had nodded.

"Hum tere saath hain," Disha had continued. "Tu usse maaf kare, na kare, usse phir se mile ya kabhi na mile... hum tere saath rahenge."

Then came the warning.

"Bas, Akku... please careful rehna."

Akanksha had looked up.

"Hum nahi chahte tu phir se wahi pain face kare."

She knew exactly what they meant.

They had seen what abandonment had done to her.

They had seen her slowly lose herself.

And none of them wanted to see her go through that again.

"Tu uski fikar karti hai, ye hum samajhte hain," Manav had said softly. "But apni fikar karna bhi mat bhoolna."

Those words had stayed with her.

Maybe more than anything else.

Tonight, she was sitting in Sorab's room with Niharika and Sorab.It was already late.The room was quiet except for the occasional sound of traffic drifting in from outside.

Sorab sat against the headboard while Niharika sat beside him.

Akanksha sat on the other side, absent-mindedly playing with the corner of her sleeve.For several minutes, nobody said anything.

Finally, Niharika looked at her.

"Toh... kya chal raha hai tere dimaag mein?"

Akanksha gave a small, helpless smile.

Kuchh nahi....she said

Sorab kept looking at her..

" bas...Kuch samajh nahi aa raha."

Sorab glanced at her.

"Akku, tujhe abhi koi decision lene ki zarurat nahi hai."

"Pata hai," she whispered.

"Seriously," he continued. "Take your time. Kisi ko jawab dene ki jaldi nahi hai."

Niharika nodded.

"Haan. Aur jo bhi decision hoga, hum tere saath hain."

Akanksha looked at both of them.

"Kya soch rahi hai?" Niharika asked softly.

Akanksha took a breath.

"Kuch nahi... bas uss din jo hua, uske baare mein."

She paused.

"I'm just... confused."

Neither of them interrupted.They knew she needed to say it herself.

"I know he hurt me in the past."

Her voice was quiet.

"Bahut zyada."

She looked down.

"And I haven't forgotten any of it. Main bhuli nahi hoon. I don't think main kabhi bhool paungi."

Her fingers tightened around her sleeve.

"But..."

She stopped.Her eyes slowly filled with tears.

"Pata nahi kyun... mera dil maanta hi nahi."

Niharika watched her carefully.

"Jabse maine usse uss halat mein dekha hai..."

Akanksha's voice broke slightly.

"Ek ajeeb si bechaini hai."

She wiped beneath one eye.

"Bas baar-baar yehi sochti hoon ki woh theek hoga ya nahi."

She took a shaky breath.

"It's been a week since that day... but abhi bhi mera dil jaise wahi pe atka hua hai. Har time bas yehi chinta hoti rehti hai."

She laughed weakly through her tears.

"Main jaanti hoon mujhe ye sab nahi sochna chahiye."

She looked down.

"Par sochti hoon."

Her voice became smaller.

"Chahe jitna khud ko samjha loon... uska khayal aa hi jaata hai."

She looked at them, almost frustrated with herself.

"Why?"

No one answered.

"Why can't I hate him?"

A tear rolled down her cheek.

"Even after knowing everything... even after everything he did... mujhe usse nafrat kyun nahi hoti?"

Niharika moved a little closer.

Akanksha continued before she could stop herself.

"Us din jab hum night out pe gaye the...bahar tab bhi Subhangi ne bataya tha ki woh abhi bhi theek nahi hai. Try kar raha hai, but... he's still not okay."

She wiped her tears.

"Pata nahi kyun, mera dil bas ye kehne laga...ki ja, dekh le usse."

Her voice trembled.

"'Itna bhi kya gussa ki tu uski health ko bhi compromise kar rahi hai?'"

She shook her head.

"Kyun ho raha hai ye sab mere saath?"

Niharika immediately moved closer and pulled her into a hug.

"Shhh... Akku."

Akanksha finally let herself cry.

"I don't know what's happening to me," she whispered against her shoulder.

"Main decision kyun nahi le paa rahi?"

She pulled back slightly.

"Main sochti hoon... maaf kar doon usse."

She took a breath.

"Phir mera dimaag kehta hai-tu itni jaldi kaise bhul sakti hai woh sab? Kahan gayi teri self-respect?"

Her eyes dropped.

"But phir bhi... pata nahi."

She swallowed.

"Mera dil kehta hai... ja. Dekh le usse."

Her voice cracked.

"Teri self-respect aur tera gussa uski health se bada nahi ho sakta."

Niharika gently rubbed her back.

"It's okay. Rona hai toh ro le...bas sab under daba ke mat rakh."

Akanksha shook her head.

"Main jaanti hoon usne mujhe hurt kiya hai. Phir bhi mera dil ussi ko yaad karta hai."

She looked at Niharika.

"Usse aise dekha na... mujhe bahut darr laga."

Sorab had remained quiet until then.

After a moment, he finally spoke.

"Maybe because somewhere... you still have feelings for him."

Akanksha immediately stiffened.

She looked at him.

"No."

Sorab didn't argue.

"No, I don't."

Her voice became defensive.

"He's bad. He hurt me. I don't want him."

"Okay," Sorab said calmly.

That simple answer made her pause.

He didn't challenge her.

He simply looked at her and asked,

"Then ek baat bata... agar sirf nafrat hoti, toh uski itni fikar kyun hoti?"

Akanksha looked away.

Sorab continued gently.

"Jab tujhe pata chala ki woh theek nahi hai, tu restless ho gayi. Jab tune usse uss halat mein dekha, tu wahan se nikal nahi paayi."

He paused.

"Hume bhi uski fikar hai, Akku. But tujhe jo bechaini ho rahi hai... woh alag hai."

Akanksha remained silent.

"Warna tu itna khud se nahi lad rahi hoti," he added softly.

Niharika spoke next.

"Hum tujhe force nahi kar rahe, Akku."

"Bilkul nahi," Sorab agreed.

"Hum bas jo dekh rahe hain, woh bol rahe hain."

Niharika looked at her.

"Tu uski health ke baare mein Rohit se kyun poochti hai?"

Akanksha didn't answer.

"Uske baare mein updates kyun leti hai?"

Still nothing.

Because she knew they were right.She had tried not to care.But she did.And pretending otherwise wasn't making the feeling disappear.

Sorab sighed.

"Dekh Akku... tu usse pyaar karti thi."

He paused.

"Shayad abhi bhi karti hai."

Akanksha's eyes lowered.

"Feelings ki koi switch nahi hoti ki ek din off kar di aur khatam."

She didn't respond.

"But that doesn't mean you have to go back to him," Sorab continued.

His voice remained firm.

"And it definitely doesn't mean you have to forgive him right now."

Niharika nodded.

"Exactly."

She reached for Akanksha's hand.

"Tu chahe toh usse kabhi mat mil. Hum tujhe force nahi karenge."

She squeezed her hand gently.

"But phir aise mat kar ki tu beech mein hi atki rahe. Na tu aage badh rahi hai, na tu uske paas jaana chahti hai."

"Bas apni feelings se bhaagti bhi mat reh."

Akanksha swallowed.

"Par main uske paas kaise jaaun?"

Her voice trembled.

"Man mein ek darr hai."

She looked at them.

"Maine socha tha... shayad mil loon usse. Ek baar properly baat kar loon. Jo bhi gussa hai, bol doon."

She took a shaky breath.

"But woh bhi nahi kar paayi."

She looked down.

"Pata nahi kyun."

Her voice became softer.

"Jab woh mere saamne tha... main use bahut kuch bolna chahti thi. Aisi baatein jo shayad usse bhi hurt karti."

She laughed bitterly.

"Par nahi bol paayi."

Niharika looked at her with understanding.

"Yehi toh hum kehna chahte hain, Akku."

She paused.

"Is sab mein woh pain mein hai... but tu bhi toh hai."

Akanksha looked at her.

"Tu kaunsi khush hai abhi?"

Akanksha had no answer.

"Toh phir itna darr kaisa?" Niharika asked gently.

Akanksha stared at the floor.

"Shayad is baat ka... ki agar main phir uske saamne gayi... toh main weak pad jaungi."

She paused.

"Ya phir..."

She couldn't finish.

Sorab understood.

"Ya phir phir se hurt hone ka."

Akanksha slowly nodded.

"Hmm."

Nobody spoke for a while.Then Sorab finally said,"Akku, hum ye nahi keh rahe ki relationship mein wapas ja."

He leaned forward slightly.

"Pehle usse mil. Kabhi-kabhi baat kar. Dekh ki tum dono ek doosre ke saamne reh bhi sakte ho ya nahi."

Niharika nodded.

"And even if you meet him, that doesn't mean you owe him forgiveness."

Akanksha looked at her.

"You can hear him and still say no."

Sorab added,

"You can care about him and still choose yourself."

The sentence stayed with her.

Niharika gently held her hand.

"Tu jo bhi karegi, hum tere saath hain."

Akanksha looked between them.

"Tum logon ko lagta hai main abhi bhi usse..."

She couldn't say it.

Sorab gave her a small smile.

"Tu khud jaanti hai."

Akanksha looked away..

"I hate this."

"I know," Niharika whispered.

Sorab leaned back against the headboard.

"Bas ek baat yaad rakh."

Akanksha looked at him.

"Apne dil ki sun."

He paused.

"But apne dimaag ko bhi saath rakh."

Akanksha nodded slowly.She wiped her tears.For the first time in four days, something inside her felt slightly clearer.

Not the answer.

Just the next step.

"I think..."

She took a breath.

"I'll meet him again..."

Sorab and Niharika looked at her.

"And this time, I'll say all the things that are in my mind."

She quickly added,

"I'm not saying I'll forgive him. And I don't know what will happen."

Niharika smiled gently..

"You don't have to know."

Akanksha looked down.

"I just..."

She took a breath.

"I can't keep running from this."

Sorab nodded.

"Then don't."

For a while, the three of them continued talking.

Eventually, the clock crossed one.

Akanksha slowly got up.

"Bahut late ho gaya. Main chalti hoon."

Just as she took a step-

Sorab's phone started ringing.

All three looked towards it.

Sorab frowned when he saw the name flashing on the screen.

"Subhangi?"

He looked at the time.

"Is waqt?"

Something about the call immediately made him uneasy.

He answered.

"Hello? Kya hua, Subhangi? Itni raat ko-sab theek hai na?"

There was silence for a moment.

Then Subhangi's worried voice came through.

"Sorab, tu kahan hai?"

"Ghar pe hoon. Kya hua?"

"Tu aa sakta hai?"

Sorab immediately sat upright.

"Why? Kya hua?"

He put the call on speaker.Subhangi's voice trembled.

"Rawat..."

Everyone went silent.

"Yogesh ko bahut tez fever hai."

Akanksha's face changed instantly.

Subhangi continued.

"Pata nahi neend mein kya-kya bol raha tha. Maine uthaya toh bas kuch bolta ja raha tha..esa lag raha tha jese panik attack ho..."

Sorab's expression tightened.

"Abhi kya kar raha hai?"

"Pata nahi... achanak uth gaya aur chillane laga. Maine shant karne ki koshish ki, but he wasn't listening. Bas sorry sorry bole ja raha tha"

Akanksha stared at the phone.

"Phir?"

"Usne mera haath pakda aur mujhe room se bahar kar diya."

Subhangi's voice shook.

"Phir andar se lock kar liya hai."

Sorab stood up.

"Darwaza nahi khol raha?"

"Nahi. Bahut baar knock kiya."

Her breathing sounded heavier now.

"Uski aankhein bhi properly nahi khul rahi thi. Uski body bahut garam thi... woh theek nahi lag raha. I think high fever bhi hai."

Akanksha's breathing changed.She couldn't hear anything else.All she could hear was-

Yogesh is not okay.

The fear she had been trying to control for the past week suddenly took over.

Subhangi continued,

"Ghar pe Gullu aur Rohit bhi nahi hain. Woh dono out of town hain. Mujhe samajh nahi aa raha main akilei kya karun."

"Tu tension mat le," Sorab said immediately. "Main aa raha hoon. Fifteen minutes."

"Please jaldi aa."

"Fever ki medicine leke aana. Ghar pe nahi hai aur itni rat ko doctor k pass bhi nahi ja sakte"

"Thik he tu tension na le..me aa rah hu..fir dekhte he kya karna he"

The call ended.

For a second, nobody moved.

Then Akanksha looked at Sorab.

"Sorab..."

Her voice trembled.

"Usse... kuch hua hai?"

"Akku, calm down."

"Woh theek hoga na?"

Sorab picked up his keys.

"Hoga."

He looked at her.

"Main ja raha hoon."

"Main bhi aa rahi hoon."

"Akku-"

"No."

She shook her head.

"Main aa rahi hoon."

Her eyes filled with tears.

"Ye sunke main yahan baith nahi sakti."

Sorab looked at her for a moment.

He knew better than to argue.

He simply nodded.

"Okay. Chal."

Niharika immediately stood up.

"Main bhi chalungi."

The entire drive was quiet.

Sorab drove faster than usual, while Niharika kept glancing at Akanksha.

Akanksha sat by the window, her hands tightly clasped together.

She hadn't spoken for several minutes.

Her mind kept replaying Subhangi's words.

High fever.

Not responding.

Locked himself inside.

She knew they didn't know how serious it actually was.

She knew they were going there to check on him.

But fear didn't listen to logic.

She closed her eyes.

For a week, she had been asking herself whether she still cared about Yogesh.

Now she had her answer.

The thought of something happening to him scared her.

More than she wanted to admit.

And perhaps that scared her even more.

Because caring didn't erase the hurt.

It didn't erase what he had done.

It didn't mean she had forgiven him.

But it meant something inside her still couldn't accept the idea of him disappearing from her life.

"Akku..."

Niharika softly called her name.

Akanksha opened her eyes.

"He'll be okay."

Akanksha nodded.

But tears slipped down her cheeks anyway.

"I just want him to be okay."

Nothing more.

Nothing less.

Fifteen minutes later, they reached Subhangi's residence.

The moment the car stopped, Akanksha opened the door.

"Akku, wait!" Sorab called.

But she was already running towards the building.

Niharika quickly followed.

Sorab grabbed the medicine bag from the car and hurried after them.

Akanksha'

s heart was beating painfully fast.

She didn't know what awaited her upstairs.

She didn't know what would happen when she saw Yogesh again.

She didn't know whether this would change anything between them.

She didn't even know whether she was ready to forgive him.

But for the first time in four days, she wasn't thinking about forgiveness.

She wasn't thinking about the past.

She wasn't thinking about what anyone would say.

She was thinking about only one thing.

Please be okay, Yogesh.

And somewhere between her fear and her tears, she finally understood the truth she had been running from.

She had not stopped loving him.

She had only been trying to convince herself that she had.

To be continue......