10

A Past That Refused to Fade

The washroom door opens.

Yogesh steps out.For a second, he simply stands there.His eyes are still slightly red.

There is a heaviness in his face that wasn't there before.

A few minutes ago, inside the locked washroom, he had finally allowed himself to break.

Not because he had wanted to.

Because the moment he was alone, there was no one left to pretend for.

He had stood in front of the mirror, trying to breathe normally, trying to convince himself that he was fine.

But the image of Akanksha standing in front of him wouldn't leave his mind.

Her face.

The way she had looked at him.

The distance between them.

Everything they had once been.

Everything they weren't anymore.

And for a few moments, the tears he had been holding back since the moment he saw her had finally escaped.

He had let them.

Only there.

Only where nobody could see.

Then he had washed his face, taken several deep breaths and looked at himself in the mirror again.

"Get yourself together."

He had whispered it to himself.

"You're at a show."

One more breath.

He straightened his shirt.

Ran his fingers through his hair.

Checked his face.

Then again.

Until he looked normal enough.

He couldn't walk out looking broken.

Not here.

Not now.

So he stepped out of the washroom wearing the same composed expression he had worn all evening.

Almost.Because some things couldn't be hidden completely.

Sorab enters the green room a few moments later.

Their eyes meet.

Sorab immediately noticed.

The slightly red eyes.

The dullness behind the otherwise composed face.

The way Yogesh looks perfectly normal at first glance-but only at first glance.

Neither says anything.

Sorab simply walks toward the balcony.

Yogesh follows.

They stand side by side, looking at the city.

For a few moments, there is only the distant sound of the show.Then Sorab speaks softly.

"Bhai... tu theek hai na?"

Yogesh keeps his eyes outside.

"Haan."

A pause.

"Bas... suddenly thoda overwhelmed ho gaya tha."

Sorab looks at him.

"Tu genuinely theek hai?"

Yogesh finally turns toward him.

"Haan, bhai."Then he gives a faint smile.

"Main manage kar lunga."

Sorab studies his face.

"Kyunki teri aankhein kuch aur hi bata rahi hain."

Yogesh's smile becomes slightly wider, almost as if trying to dismiss it.

"Tu bhi na..."

He looks away.

"Bas aankhon mein thodi tiredness hai."

Sorab gives him a knowing look.

"Bahut logical baatein karne laga hai aajkal tu, Rawat."

Yogesh lets out a small laugh.

"Experience hai."

But Sorab knows him too well to believe that was the whole truth.

Still, he doesn't push.

Instead, he says,

"Bhai... sorry yaar."

Yogesh looks at him.

"Sorry kyun?"

"Meri galti hai. Mujhe tujhe pehle bata dena chahiye tha."

And Sorab explains everything.

How he hadn't known he would come.How they had already been in Jaipur for a week.How he had wanted to tell Yogesh but worried that knowing beforehand would affect his focus.How the preparations had made him forget.

Yogesh listens quietly.

"Haan, I understand."

"Tu bura toh nahi maan raha?"

"Nahi."

He gives him a reassuring nod.

"Seriously, Sorab. You don't have to explain."

For a few moments, they stand silently.

Then Yogesh asks,

"Kaisi hai wo?"

Sorab looks at him.

"Theek hai."

Yogesh's eyes immediately move toward him.

"Sach?"

Sorab hesitates.

"Bas... situation uske liye bhi bahut sudden thi."

"Matlab?"

"Woh prepared nahi thi."

Yogesh nods slowly.

Then his voice becomes quieter.

"Sorab..."

"Hmm?"

"Kuch hai na?"

Sorab doesn't answer.

"Bol na."

Sorab looks down.

"Yaar... nahi hai woh completely theek."

Yogesh becomes still.

He doesn't react dramatically.

He simply waits.

"Usne sabko dikhaya hai ki she's fine," Sorab continues. "Strong hai. Move on kar gayi hai. Apni life mein busy hai."

A pause.

"Lekin andar se... nahi."

Yogesh's eyes lower.

"Tu pehle toh uss din call pe to tu bol raha tha ki normal hai."

"Haan."

Sorab sighs.

"Mujhe bhi yahi laga tha."

Then he tells Yogesh about the Filmigyan podcast.

The questions.

The memories.

The things that had come back.

The way Akanksha had tried to hold herself together.

The realization that perhaps she had never truly moved on.

Yogesh listens.He doesn't interrupt once.Only once, his jaw tightens.

When Sorab finishes, Yogesh asks quietly,

"She still can't face me?"

Sorab nods.

"Shayad nahi."

Yogesh looks toward the city.

"Isliye..."

He pauses.

"Isliye wo mujhse milna nahi chahti thi?"

"Haan."

Sorab explains.

"Usse lagta hai ki tujhse na milegi, tujhe na dekhegi, toh shayad move on kar payegi."

Yogesh nods slowly.

"Makes sense."

But his voice is quieter now.

Sorab looks at him.

"Yogesh..."

"Hmm?"

"She still has feelings for you."

Yogesh's eyes flicker.

For a moment, he says nothing.

Then-

"Tu sure hai?"

"Haan."

Yogesh looks down.

"Main sochta tha... shayad ab usse koi farq nahi padta."

Sorab shakes his head.

"Farq padta hai."

Yogesh takes a slow breath.

Then he asks the question he has been avoiding.

"Royi thi abhi room me wo?"

Sorab looks at him.

"Haan."

Yogesh's eyes close for barely a second.

He opens them again.

Composed.

But his voice is softer.

"Kitna?"

"Bohot."

Yogesh looks away.

Sorab continues,

"Usse dekhkar mujhe laga jaise woh aaj ki Akanksha nahi thi."

Yogesh listens.

"Jaise Splitsvilla wali wahi Akanksha mere saamne khadi ho."

A faint smile appears on Sorab's face.

"Jo uss din stage pe thi..jo splitsvilla me thi tere wo decision ke bad"

His smile fades.

"Bas... ab woh pehle jaisi nahi hai."

Yogesh remains silent.

"Woh hasti hai," Sorab says. "Mere saath bhi hasti hai."

He pauses.

"Lekin jo woh tere saath thi..."

Sorab slowly shakes his head.

"Woh alag thi."

Yogesh looks down.

His fingers tighten around the railing.

But he says nothing.

Then Sorab tells him about the rumours.

The pre-planning allegations.The things Akanksha had apparently been talking about.This time, Yogesh looks directly at him.

"Jo log baatein kar rahe hain..."

He pauses.

"Woh sach hai?

"Tu mujhe bata sakta hai."

"Main tera dost hoon."

A pause.

"Mujhe nahi lagta jo log keh rahe hain woh poori story hai." Sorab said

He looks at Sorab.

"Sach bata, Yogesh."

Yogesh looks away.

"Kuch cheezein hain jo mujhe tujhe batani hain."

He pauses.

"Tujhe bhi."

Then-

"Use bhi."

Sorab waits.

"Lekin abhi nahi."

"Kyun?"

"Kyuki abhi sahi waqt nahi hai."

He looks toward the hall.

"Humara show hain ajj. Woh already emotionally disturbed hai."

His voice becomes softer.

"Aur main nahi chahta ki abhi kuch aur complicated ho."

Sorab nods.

"Mumbai jaake baat karenge."

"Haan."

"Properly?"

Yogesh looks at him.

"Properly."

Sorab studies him for a moment.

"Tu usse blame nahi kar raha na?"

Yogesh looks surprised.

"Blame?"

He shakes his head.

"Kaise kar sakta hoon?"

His voice is quiet.

"Agar meri wajah se usse hurt hua hai... toh uska reaction galat kaise ho sakta hai?"

Sorab remains silent.

Yogesh takes a breath.

"I don't know what she thinks about me now."

He looks toward the city.

"But I don't want to make things harder for her."

Sorab nods.

Then, after a moment, he asks,

"Achha... Ruru aur tera kaisa chal raha hai?"

Yogesh goes quiet.

"Sabh theek hai?"

"Haan."

"Really?"

Yogesh gives him a faint smile.

"Normal hai."

Sorab looks at him.

"Normal?"

"Yeah."

A pause.

"Normal keh sakte hain."

Sorab understands that there is another conversation waiting for another day.So he doesn't ask again.

Instead, he pats Yogesh's shoulder.

"Ye sab Mumbai mein bat karege"

Yogesh nods.

"Haan."

Then a voice from inside calls Sorab.

"The next segment is starting."

Sorab turns toward the door.

"Chal."Yogesh nods.

Before stepping inside, he takes one quiet breath.The same way he had done in the washroom.One last check of his expression.Everything is back in place.

The smile.

The calm face.

The professional posture.

No one looking at him would know that only a short while ago, he had been standing alone in a washroom, wiping

away tears he didn't want anyone to see.And Sorab doesn't know either.He only knows that Yogesh's eyes are red.He doesn't know why.

Yogesh walks back into the lights.

Composed.

Steady.

Normal.

But somewhere beneath that calm exterior, Sorab's words continue to echo.

She still hasn't moved on.

And for the first time tonight, Yogesh realizes that the distance between them may not have meant that she stopped caring.

Maybe it meant she cared too much.

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